List of Books

Reading

Books Read in 2018 (List of Books Read before 2017)

1. Jan. 15 - Nate Marshall, Wild Hundreds
2. Aug. 16 - Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential

Books to Read (alphabetical by author's last name)

• Adams, Douglas - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• Doyle, Arthur Conan - Canon of Sherlock Holmes
• Eugenides, Jeffery - The Virgin Suicides
• Foer, Jonathan Safran - Everything is Illuminated
• Hammett, Dashiell - The Maltese Falcon
• Harari, Yuval - Sapiens
• Heinlein, Robert - Time Enough for Love
• Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
• Vonnegut, Kurt - Slaughterhouse-Five

Whole30 - Day 3

Watercress, frisee, over easy egg, avocado, lime juice, salt, pepper

Orange

Vinegar braised chicken legs and potatos(rice wine vinegar, garlic, onion, red pepper flake, cumin, sesame oil, Day 2 hot pot soup stock, perilla, scallions)

Apple
Chicken liver pate (ghee, onion, garlic, vinegar, salt, pepper)

Salmon potato salad (canned salmon, boiled potatoes, boiled eggs, watercress, capers, lemon, dill, salt, pepper)

Whole30 - Day 2

Honeycrisp apple

Peppermint tea

Frittata (eggs, zucchini, yellow squash, onion, garlic powder, salt, pepper, olive oil)

Dry-rub skirt steak (salt, cumin, coriander, paprika, cayenne, garlic powder, onion powder, pepper) with avocado (lime juice, olive oil, pepper, cilantro)

Hot pot soup (salted dried fish, kombu, shiitake, daikon, watercress, bok choy, fatty brisket, beef tongue, lamb, vinegar, salt)

Broiled salted mackerel (lemon) with green beans and oyster mushrooms (olive oil, garlic, scallions, salt, pepper)

Whole30 - Day 1

Manzano banana

Honeycrisp apple
Coffee

Frittata (eggs, zucchini, yellow squash, onion, garlic powder, salt, pepper, olive oil)

Dry-rub skirt steak (salt, cumin, coriander, paprika, cayenne, garlic powder, onion powder, pepper) salad (green leaf, romaine, frisee) with radish salsa (radish, tomato, apple, lime juice, onion powder, cumin, salt, cilantro)

D'Anjou pear

handful of almonds

Sauteed spicy marinated (daikon, garlic, onion, jalepeno, korean red pepper powder, red pepper flake, salt) pork belly (onion, perilla) over napa cabbage & frisee

List of Books Read

in 2010

1. Jan. 04 - Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents
2. Jan. 08 - Raymond A. Moody, Jr., M.D., Life After Life
3. Jan. 17 - Michael Crichton, Timeline
4. Jan. 22 - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
5. April 19 - Diane Matcheck, The Sacrifice
6. May 1 - Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe
7. Jun. 1 - 하지은, 얼음나무 숲
8. Jun. 25 - Dan Ariely, Predictably Irrational
9. Jun. 29 - Jessica Williams, 50 Facts that Should Change the World
10. Jul. 24 - Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death
11. Aug. 6 - Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

 in 2011

1. May 11 - Jostein Gaarder, Sophie's World
2. July 17 - Tamora Pierce, Wild Magic
3. July 23 - Tamora Pierce, Wolf-Speaker
4. July 24 - Tamora Pierce, Emperor Mage
5. July 24 - Tamora Pierce, The Realm of the Gods
6. Aug. 1 - Sherwood Smith, Crown Duel 
7. Aug. 2 - Vivian Vande Velde, The Conjurer Princess
8. Aug. 7 - Sharon Green, Convergence
9. Aug. 9 - Sharon Green, Competitions 
10. Aug. 13 - Sharon Green, Challenges
11. Aug. 16 - Sharon Green, Betrayals
12. Aug. 27 - Sharon Green, Prophecy
13. Oct. 1 - Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet
14. Oct. 5 - Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of Four

 in 2012

1. Jan. 27 -  Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
2. Jan. 28 - Joseph Gordon-Levitt, The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories: Vol. 1
3. May 28 - Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange
4. June 1 -  Lou Beach, 420 Characters
5. June 2 - Michael Gregorio, Critique of Criminal Reason
6. June 6 -  Arthur Conan Doyle, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes
7. June 8 - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle
8. July 22 - Jeffery Eugenides, The Marriage Plot
9. Aug. 19 - Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence
10. Sept. 11 - Michael Bakunin, God and the State

in 2013

1. Various, Twice Told: Original Stories Inspired by Original Art

in 2014

1. Jan. 19 - Max Stirner, The Ego and His Own: The Case of the Individual Against Authority
2. Jan. 30 - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles
3. Sept. 14 - Christian Rudder, Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking)

in 2015

1. Feb. 10 - 이미나, 그 남자 그 여자
2. Apr. 15 - Niki Jilvontae, My Bitch, Yo Bitch....Everybody Bitch
3. May 31 - Erich Fromm, Man for Himself, an inquiry into the psychology of ethics
4. June 21 - Aziz Ansari, Modern Romance
5. July 17 - Mary Roach, Gulp

in 2016

1. Nov. 13 - Susan R. Barry, Fixing My Gaze
2. Dec. 20 - Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad

in 2017

1. Sept. 14 - Frank Herbert, Dune
2. Sept. 18 - Frank Herbert, Dune Messiah
3. Sept. 20 - James Hynes, Kings of Infinite Space

Reflecting on 2017

I feel I haven't done this properly in a long time. I haven't really reflected on the year in a considerable way. I have thought about things that have happened and are happening, but I haven't taken the time to write it down.

This past year 2017 has been a very eventful year. I've probably said that every year, but it's probably true again as it was true every other time I've said it.

I learned that I can't cope well with work stress. A stressful work environment is not for me, and so I cried. I cried so much this last year, but all in the span of a few weeks. And in crying I reaffirmed that the man I'm with is the man I should be with as long as humanly possible.

At the beginning of the year I was anxious that we weren't headed fast enough towards matrimony, but it was unfounded worry-warting.

January -
February - Philly
March -
April - proposal
May -
June -
July - 30th birthday
August -
September - quit job
October - new old job
November - 2nd Thanksgiving
December -

Hello, 2017.

A recap of 2016:

February - friend's wedding
March - friend's wedding in FL
March - applications
April - sister's bday at Maggiano's
April - friend's wedding
June - sister moved out
July - move in with bf
July - parents move into new home
August - Renters
September - bread
October - Chicago, IL
November - Charleston, SC
November - start new job
November - first Thanksgiving
December - first Christmas

20160916: jump, alphabet, carnival

I escaped the clutches of childhood only to jump like a horse on a carnival carousel and drown like an animal cracker in alphabet soup.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

20160915: attic, stairs, bath, pepper

She took a bath to clean off the sneezing dust from her trip up the attic stairs. The shaved stubble from her legs floated in the water like black pepper.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

an even shittier emo poem

at
night

elusive
visions
envelope
nothingness.

sometimes
i
think
that
i
envisioned
regret,

except
my
own,

pretending
others
even
mattered.

Hey, 2016.

I feel I've been completely unprepared for the onset of the new year this time around and consequently so unceremoniously welcomed 2016. But here it is. Hey, 2016.

2015 was a strange year. I want to write it off as uneventful, but that's not true. My romantic life was a dream, but my familial/home life wasn't so much. I'm not sure if it was pursuing my romantic life that strained the sibling relationship, or if it was in experiencing the dream that I realized the flaws in it. All in all, it wasn't pleasant. I had to change my point of view and recalibrate the dynamics of our relationship, and I feel we've reached an unstable equilibrium. It's good enough for now. In 2016 we'll strive for time and space apart. I think that'll do us good in the same way that it currently facilitates our relationship with our parents.

I know at the beginning of 2015 I wanted to work on maintaining my individuality while in a relationship, but I don't think I worked on that very much this past year. I was too wrapped up in keeping my shit together outside of my dream of a romantic relationship. In the process I did learn a lot of about myself and what I value. Creativity and individuality is still important to me, but they clearly do not take center stage like they used to. I think the spirit of my life has matured and I feel more comfortable and happy espousing harmony and caring. It is a shift perspective, and I think at the beginning of 2015 I was scared of letting go of the identity I had built for myself when I was single. I was right in believing 2015 was the year that I would question, "who am I now?" It's only now that I'm coming to terms with the definition of the person I want to be going forward in my life. It's still scary, but I think this is a big turning point. I'm never going to lose my wont for introspection, and I still want to consciously craft myself into a better a person.

I already have a feeling that 2016 will be a very eventful year for me. It'll be work to transition myself into a new stage of life, but I'm looking forward to it. I think I already have more vision in terms of the long term plan.

For 2016 I hope I do not lose sight of all the things it took to get me this far. I know I'll be focused on setting the groundwork for my envisioned future, but I don't want to forget everything I've already learned about myself.

In addition, as cliche as it is, I really need to get back on the workout train. I don't feel as fit and healthy as I have in my past and I want to rectify that. I do believe I will need physical fortitude to get through everything that I think 2016 will throw at me!

As usual, I wish for peace, love, prosperity, & heath in the new year. Happy New Year!

20150408: plane, quail, crisps

She flew over on a plane to enjoy how quail crisps in his oven.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

Greetings, 2015!

I believe 2014 was the most fulfilling year yet. In 2014, things that I've dreamed of happening for as long as I can remember became a reality. I bought a house and moved out. I found myself in a wonderful relationship. It's all been too wonderful to properly recount in so many words.

In all honesty, I was was not very optimistic at the beginning of 2014. I just wasn't sure after so many false starts in 2013 that I would get anywhere soon. In response to feeling like I was being taken for a ride in 2013, I made the resolution to be assertive for the 2014 calendar year. As much as I thought I would have to battle people who would continue to push and pull me around, 2014 turned out to be my year. I never felt the need to be very assertive because when the right opportunity presented itself it wasn't difficult for me and everyone see that. It turns out most people do just want what's best for you, and it's difficult to argue against something that is clearly the right choice.

In response to the great successes in 2014, I'm very much at a loss on what to hope for and work on in 2015. I've usually never found this to be a problem, but 2014 was a very different kind of year for me. Perhaps, it is in that vein that I'll find my answer.

2014 was different in that I spend very little time alone. I found myself discovering who I was in the context of another, and in doing so I felt alienated from the self I had spent all my years prior cultivating, the creative, expressive individualist. I spent very little time creating for the sake of creation, and I felt disconnected from the individual in me that desired that sort of self-expression. All my energies were focused externally, and I guess at the end of the year I have little to show for myself in terms of those products of creative expression. It feels a little empty.

So in 2015 I seek balance. I want to know how to be a successful half of a relationship without losing my clear sense of self. I want to find what there is to express as an individual within the context of being a couple. I hope to find that by rediscovering and strengthening my sense of self I'll be able to add more value to my relationship. 2015 will be a year to question, "who am I now?"

Every year I wish for peace, love, & prosperity, and this year I add "health" to that list. May 2015 be filled with health, peace, love, & prosperity! Happy New Year!

Re: (no subject)

Likewise.

i still think of you from time to time
true story

Contentment

I lack the want to express because I have.

20140129: lodger, trumpet, toast, bar, submarine, survey

The lone lodger surveyed the empty bar and gave a toast, intent on submerging his mind in drink like a submarine in the ocean, hoping the hazy pressure would crush all memories of the strumpet.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

Salutations, 2014.

Looking back on 2013, it has been a year that has been incredibly different in spirit than all of my years past. Before I had always put a lot of emphasis on body and mind, but in 2013 I made my emotional self the focus.

Thematically, 2013 was about interpersonal relationships. I wanted to:
1. make a conscious effort to be good to people,
2. seek out, enjoy, and appreciate the company of those people that are good to me; and
3. see myself grow and flourish as an emotional being.

And while I believe I made progress on point #3, I confess I didn't realize what being good to people was until I started feeling that the people whose company I was seeking were not being very good to me. This isn't to say that I and others were purposefully mean to each other. No, not at all. It's just to suggest that there is a fundamental difficulty in being kind to others because we are all each autonomous individuals that experience life subjectively. No amount of empathy can change that.

In 2014 I need to be more assertive. I've always been an advocate of "going with the flow," but there is merit in opposing it from time to time. I need to be able to assert myself and let my opinions and feelings be known so that all situations in my life can be steered to desirable ends. I need to change my habit of letting things happen and then coercing myself to accept all conclusions for the sake of my sanity. After all, what is the point of continuing to cultivate myself as an individual with creativity and intellect if I'm not able to get my life to reflect the complexity and richness of that inner-self?

And as usual, let peace, love, & prosperity find us all in this new year. Happy 2014!

To you, wayward Internet stranger

The Internet is a strange place wherein we substantiate ourselves with the nebulous stuff that are our thoughts and ideas, an inversion of the physical world. I'm glad that my words were able to reach you as more than pretentiously indulgent scribblings of a melodramatic mind.

In hopes you will find more of these nebulous things that make you feel, safe travels.

J.

painting happy endings

You charm and tease me to my own chagrin
to the point where my mind is not my own,
and the thoughts therein have not ceased to spin
since the idea of you itself was sown.
So I call you Muse and let my head swell
with imaginative iterations
of your temptations, natured kiss-and-tell,
to be expressed as my inspirations.
As I am the artist and you my muse,
I behold your grand form to be captured
with the key, pen, or brush strokes I so choose,
but instead I find myself enraptured.
And when I lay prone to my obsession
I am the canvas for your expression.

i66

I saw you traveling away from the setting sun
at the speed of a cruising car.
Your eyes were shaded
behind squares of tinted plastic
as were mine.
The moment I recognized you,
the world was suddenly so small
and the days between us were so short.
I whispered "thank you" and "I'm sorry"
and hoped that maybe you already knew.