20150408: plane, quail, crisps

She flew over on a plane to enjoy how quail crisps in his oven.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

Greetings, 2015!

I believe 2014 was the most fulfilling year yet. In 2014, things that I've dreamed of happening for as long as I can remember became a reality. I bought a house and moved out. I found myself in a wonderful relationship. It's all been too wonderful to properly recount in so many words.

In all honesty, I was was not very optimistic at the beginning of 2014. I just wasn't sure after so many false starts in 2013 that I would get anywhere soon. In response to feeling like I was being taken for a ride in 2013, I made the resolution to be assertive for the 2014 calendar year. As much as I thought I would have to battle people who would continue to push and pull me around, 2014 turned out to be my year. I never felt the need to be very assertive because when the right opportunity presented itself it wasn't difficult for me and everyone see that. It turns out most people do just want what's best for you, and it's difficult to argue against something that is clearly the right choice.

In response to the great successes in 2014, I'm very much at a loss on what to hope for and work on in 2015. I've usually never found this to be a problem, but 2014 was a very different kind of year for me. Perhaps, it is in that vein that I'll find my answer.

2014 was different in that I spend very little time alone. I found myself discovering who I was in the context of another, and in doing so I felt alienated from the self I had spent all my years prior cultivating, the creative, expressive individualist. I spent very little time creating for the sake of creation, and I felt disconnected from the individual in me that desired that sort of self-expression. All my energies were focused externally, and I guess at the end of the year I have little to show for myself in terms of those products of creative expression. It feels a little empty.

So in 2015 I seek balance. I want to know how to be a successful half of a relationship without losing my clear sense of self. I want to find what there is to express as an individual within the context of being a couple. I hope to find that by rediscovering and strengthening my sense of self I'll be able to add more value to my relationship. 2015 will be a year to question, "who am I now?"

Every year I wish for peace, love, & prosperity, and this year I add "health" to that list. May 2015 be filled with health, peace, love, & prosperity! Happy New Year!

Re: (no subject)

Likewise.

i still think of you from time to time
true story

Contentment

I lack the want to express because I have.

20140129: lodger, trumpet, toast, bar, submarine, survey

The lone lodger surveyed the empty bar and gave a toast, intent on submerging his mind in drink like a submarine in the ocean, hoping the hazy pressure would crush all memories of the strumpet.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

Salutations, 2014.

Looking back on 2013, it has been a year that has been incredibly different in spirit than all of my years past. Before I had always put a lot of emphasis on body and mind, but in 2013 I made my emotional self the focus.

Thematically, 2013 was about interpersonal relationships. I wanted to:
1. make a conscious effort to be good to people,
2. seek out, enjoy, and appreciate the company of those people that are good to me; and
3. see myself grow and flourish as an emotional being.

And while I believe I made progress on point #3, I confess I didn't realize what being good to people was until I started feeling that the people whose company I was seeking were not being very good to me. This isn't to say that I and others were purposefully mean to each other. No, not at all. It's just to suggest that there is a fundamental difficulty in being kind to others because we are all each autonomous individuals that experience life subjectively. No amount of empathy can change that.

In 2014 I need to be more assertive. I've always been an advocate of "going with the flow," but there is merit in opposing it from time to time. I need to be able to assert myself and let my opinions and feelings be known so that all situations in my life can be steered to desirable ends. I need to change my habit of letting things happen and then coercing myself to accept all conclusions for the sake of my sanity. After all, what is the point of continuing to cultivate myself as an individual with creativity and intellect if I'm not able to get my life to reflect the complexity and richness of that inner-self?

And as usual, let peace, love, & prosperity find us all in this new year. Happy 2014!

To you, wayward Internet stranger

The Internet is a strange place wherein we substantiate ourselves with the nebulous stuff that are our thoughts and ideas, an inversion of the physical world. I'm glad that my words were able to reach you as more than pretentiously indulgent scribblings of a melodramatic mind.

In hopes you will find more of these nebulous things that make you feel, safe travels.

J.