Reflecting on 2017

I feel I haven't done this properly in a long time. I haven't really reflected on the year in a considerable way. I have thought about things that have happened and are happening, but I haven't taken the time to write it down.

This past year 2017 has been a very eventful year. I've probably said that every year, but it's probably true again as it was true every other time I've said it.

I learned that I can't cope well with work stress. A stressful work environment is not for me, and so I cried. I cried so much this last year, but all in the span of a few weeks. And in crying I reaffirmed that the man I'm with is the man I should be with as long as humanly possible.

At the beginning of the year I was anxious that we weren't headed fast enough towards matrimony, but it was unfounded worry-warting.

January -
February - Philly
March -
April - proposal
May -
June -
July - 30th birthday
August -
September - quit job
October - new old job
November - 2nd Thanksgiving
December -

Hello, 2017.

A recap of 2016:

February - friend's wedding
March - friend's wedding in FL
March - applications
April - sister's bday at Maggiano's
April - friend's wedding
June - sister moved out
July - move in with bf
July - parents move into new home
August - Renters
September - bread
October - Chicago, IL
November - Charleston, SC
November - start new job
November - first Thanksgiving
December - first Christmas

20160916: jump, alphabet, carnival

I escaped the clutches of childhood only to jump like a horse on a carnival carousel and drown like an animal cracker in alphabet soup.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

20160915: attic, stairs, bath, pepper

She took a bath to clean off the sneezing dust from her trip up the attic stairs. The shaved stubble from her legs floated in the water like black pepper.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

an even shittier emo poem

at
night

elusive
visions
envelope
nothingness.

sometimes
i
think
that
i
envisioned
regret,

except
my
own,

pretending
others
even
mattered.

Hey, 2016.

I feel I've been completely unprepared for the onset of the new year this time around and consequently so unceremoniously welcomed 2016. But here it is. Hey, 2016.

2015 was a strange year. I want to write it off as uneventful, but that's not true. My romantic life was a dream, but my familial/home life wasn't so much. I'm not sure if it was pursuing my romantic life that strained the sibling relationship, or if it was in experiencing the dream that I realized the flaws in it. All in all, it wasn't pleasant. I had to change my point of view and recalibrate the dynamics of our relationship, and I feel we've reached an unstable equilibrium. It's good enough for now. In 2016 we'll strive for time and space apart. I think that'll do us good in the same way that it currently facilitates our relationship with our parents.

I know at the beginning of 2015 I wanted to work on maintaining my individuality while in a relationship, but I don't think I worked on that very much this past year. I was too wrapped up in keeping my shit together outside of my dream of a romantic relationship. In the process I did learn a lot of about myself and what I value. Creativity and individuality is still important to me, but they clearly do not take center stage like they used to. I think the spirit of my life has matured and I feel more comfortable and happy espousing harmony and caring. It is a shift perspective, and I think at the beginning of 2015 I was scared of letting go of the identity I had built for myself when I was single. I was right in believing 2015 was the year that I would question, "who am I now?" It's only now that I'm coming to terms with the definition of the person I want to be going forward in my life. It's still scary, but I think this is a big turning point. I'm never going to lose my wont for introspection, and I still want to consciously craft myself into a better a person.

I already have a feeling that 2016 will be a very eventful year for me. It'll be work to transition myself into a new stage of life, but I'm looking forward to it. I think I already have more vision in terms of the long term plan.

For 2016 I hope I do not lose sight of all the things it took to get me this far. I know I'll be focused on setting the groundwork for my envisioned future, but I don't want to forget everything I've already learned about myself.

In addition, as cliche as it is, I really need to get back on the workout train. I don't feel as fit and healthy as I have in my past and I want to rectify that. I do believe I will need physical fortitude to get through everything that I think 2016 will throw at me!

As usual, I wish for peace, love, prosperity, & heath in the new year. Happy New Year!

20150408: plane, quail, crisps

She flew over on a plane to enjoy how quail crisps in his oven.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.