20160916: jump, alphabet, carnival

I escaped the clutches of childhood only to jump like a horse on a carnival carousel and drown like an animal cracker in alphabet soup.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

20160915: attic, stairs, bath, pepper

She took a bath to clean off the sneezing dust from her trip up the attic stairs. The shaved stubble from her legs floated in the water like black pepper.

To the list of other pieces inspired by random words.

an even shittier emo poem

at
night

elusive
visions
envelope
nothingness.

sometimes
i
think
that
i
envisioned
regret,

except
my
own,

pretending
others
even
mattered.

Hey, 2016.

I feel I've been completely unprepared for the onset of the new year this time around and consequently so unceremoniously welcomed 2016. But here it is. Hey, 2016.

2015 was a strange year. I want to write it off as uneventful, but that's not true. My romantic life was a dream, but my familial/home life wasn't so much. I'm not sure if it was pursuing my romantic life that strained the sibling relationship, or if it was in experiencing the dream that I realized the flaws in it. All in all, it wasn't pleasant. I had to change my point of view and recalibrate the dynamics of our relationship, and I feel we've reached an unstable equilibrium. It's good enough for now. In 2016 we'll strive for time and space apart. I think that'll do us good in the same way that it currently facilitates our relationship with our parents.

I know at the beginning of 2015 I wanted to work on maintaining my individuality while in a relationship, but I don't think I worked on that very much this past year. I was too wrapped up in keeping my shit together outside of my dream of a romantic relationship. In the process I did learn a lot of about myself and what I value. Creativity and individuality is still important to me, but they clearly do not take center stage like they used to. I think the spirit of my life has matured and I feel more comfortable and happy espousing harmony and caring. It is a shift perspective, and I think at the beginning of 2015 I was scared of letting go of the identity I had built for myself when I was single. I was right in believing 2015 was the year that I would question, "who am I now?" It's only now that I'm coming to terms with the definition of the person I want to be going forward in my life. It's still scary, but I think this is a big turning point. I'm never going to lose my wont for introspection, and I still want to consciously craft myself into a better a person.

I already have a feeling that 2016 will be a very eventful year for me. It'll be work to transition myself into a new stage of life, but I'm looking forward to it. I think I already have more vision in terms of the long term plan.

For 2016 I hope I do not lose sight of all the things it took to get me this far. I know I'll be focused on setting the groundwork for my envisioned future, but I don't want to forget everything I've already learned about myself.

In addition, as cliche as it is, I really need to get back on the workout train. I don't feel as fit and healthy as I have in my past and I want to rectify that. I do believe I will need physical fortitude to get through everything that I think 2016 will throw at me!

As usual, I wish for peace, love, prosperity, & heath in the new year. Happy New Year!