Daul Kim, dead at 20.

Daul Kim found dead in her Paris apartment. Suicide. Hanging. My, what a way to go?

Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse...

I first learned of her existence back in October of 08 when NYmag's fashion blog the CUT posted about her blog I Like to Fork Myself and the playfully suggestive Polaroids of her and her mates horsing around...

This image in particular really got to me. Even though they're just horsing around this image is so put together. It's provocative without being lewd. It's raw and candid and yet so staged. It's so real and yet surreal. It made me wonder if some people really lived their lives like that. Like their lives were a show - drama in every mundane moment.

So after that, I frequented her blog on occasion.

It's amazing how another person's life seems so much more interesting than your own. Their accomplishments seem like something and yours like nothing. I was envious of this girl. And one post in particular still sticks in my mind...

"power of mind is what does not suck,

i wrote down exactly what i wanted to do when i was like 13....

by the time im 20 .. and scary thing! it really happened that way

kind of every detail of it is like that.

and im going to be 20 in this summer i am looking forward to it.

looking back i wish i dreamed bigger

and visualized in more detail

so im 30's goal is to be a dictator

kidding.

so whatever you believe in you should believe it firmly and visualize it.

and its good to be aggressive about what you want."

I think I believed her when she exalted the "power of mind." I just wished that I knew what I wanted.

Well, now she's dead. Obviously she saw that coming. It's what she wanted, which is a terrible way of justifying suicide, but she's not suffering anymore. It's only the people who live that suffer. I'm sure she knew that.

To me Daul Kim was like an idea. She was the embodiment of contradiction. She was bold and yet mysterious, tall and yet young, Asian yet blonde, a model yet awkward, successful yet subdued, kooky yet serious, real and yet fake. I think her end was befitting to this concept that is Daul.